Dear friends and people who claim to know me because of my fame,

as I told you in my last entry I accomplished my first task, to decrease the rate of accidents in Vietnam. Yet, it didn't take me much time till I found out the second weakness of Vietnam's population: poverty!

Almost 30% of Vietnamese live below the national poverty line and many people have less than 1 USD a day to live with (even worse, USD is not even the official currency of Vietnam). Many people cannot afford a second car or going to the hairdresser daily. The girls on the picture below never owned a playstation and probably never will! Instead, they have to play with toys made of grass and are outside most of the day. This poor conditions obviously give cause for concern!

However, those who know the attitude of Vietnamese can be sure they do everything to improve their financial status. Finding a job is one of the most effective ways to escape the poverty trap.
As one of the biggest obstacles is to write an application I, Mr.Fabulous myself, decided to consult the poor to help them getting a job.

At the following sample I will demonstrate the universal recommendations which I taught to the Vietnamese:

1. With a date which is far in the future, you demonstrate that you are fore-sighted and optimistic thinking. You show the ability to plan well-ahead.

2. Don't use the usual "Dear Mr./Ms. ...". Instead, a greeting such as "Excuse me Mister" or "Hey ho, Mr. Joe" makes your application get the readers attention from the beginning on. Also, just use the masculine form to indicate that you are not satisfied with talking to less powerful people (in Vietnam most higher ranking people are men).

3. Start the application with a question to demonstrate that you are in the position of power!

4. Often use the imperative form which indicates that you are a good leader. Repeat this imperative as often as you can and emphasize it by using bold letters and bigger size!

5. Be self-confident!

6. At this point of time, the reader will be absolute sure to offer you the job position. To avoid latter difficulties exactely tell the reader what he can expect from you when you are his superior in some weeks.

7. Finally, make the reader fully aware of the importance that he acts immediately and there is no time to waste!

With theses seven simple steps, there is a 100% chance that you will immediately be employed.

Goodbye!
Mr.Fabulous

Soon after my arrival I realized the first weakness of Vietnam - motorbikes!

Being in Vietnam without riding the motorbike (moped) is like visiting France without eating frog legs. You cannot fully comprehense the way of living as it is rooted so deeply in the culture of the country. While cars are vehicles of isolation, motorbikes create that kind of warmness between each other when standing at the traffic light or pathing your ways on the pedestrian way. It looks like ants, when hundreds of motorbikes move into all directions.

More than 16 million motorbikes (for about 80 million Vietnamese) account for nearly 96 per cent of all local means of transportation in Vietnam. In fact, I have seen almost everything being transported by motorbikes, including: Refrigerators, ice-blocks, about 6 pigs, dogs, cupboards, fishes and so on.

Please see the following picture to get an idea what Mr.Fabulous is talking about:

There is just one problem! DEATH! The death rate in Vietnam is exceptionally high (one of the highest in the world) weakening the population. Mr. Fabulous new what to do...

In fact I chose strategy I had often successfuly used before - enlightening the people!
My plan was to do this by introducing the seven commandments for riding the motorbike. In a cloak-and-dagger operation I replaced hundreds of signs around Ho Chi Minh City with posters, introducing the 7 commandments!

The following picture shows one of the installed outdoor posters:

The commandments were as follows:

1. Beware the flow!
Occasionally, especially at night time, drivers sometimes enter some state of flow when riding the motorbike. Symptoms are feeling immortal, driving slalom between the other motorbikes. Lights at the roadside are melting into surreal pictures and your mind is fading. In fact, some people have reported that driving Saigon late at night is the closest you can get to freedom in your life!

2. Make use of human shields!
When turning left at an intersection, other vehicles will always come from the front. A good option is to position yourself right next to another motorbike having the same intention but staying a bit behind, so that the other acts like a human shield. However, be aware that sometimes others will use you, too.

3. Don’t pay attention!
It is very important not to show other people that you are attentive. Otherwise people get confused and don’t know what you are doing next. Without paying attention, e.g. when turning off to the right, people will take care not to rush into you in order to avoid sratches on their vehicles.

4. Take the shortest way!
Vietnamese always take the shortest way, no matter if it is therefore necessary to drive the wrong way in a one-way road or circle or on the pedestrian way. Always pay attention to all directions (including overhead and beneath).

5. Respect authority!The following hierarchy of vehicles on the streets must be strictly adhered to (beginning with the highest):
- Trucks
- Buses
- Taxis
- Other cars
- Motorbikes
- Mopeds
- Bicycles
- Pedestrians
The smallest mistake will result in immediate death!

6. Imitate foreigners!
Foreigners enjoy immunity among police men, e.g. when driving without drivers license or drunk. Therefore Vietnamese should be advised to pretend being a foreigner. This implicates wearing a "Good Morning Vietnam" or "Same Same but Different" t-shirt (ideally with a pillow beneath), shorts and Birkenstock.

7. Love your Moto!
A recent, empirical study has confirmed that motorbikes actually have a soul! Therefore much attention must be paid to care about it, e.g. taking it out for dinner.

Beside introducing the commandments I also forced people to wear helmets. The result can be seen in the following picture:

What can I say? As expected the operation was a remarkable success! The death rate even decreased below zero. You may ask how this is possible?! The reason is simple:

After introducing my commandments, driving motorbike in Vietnam became so safe that Vietnamese even began making love and giving birth while riding the moto. Obvious, isn't it?

Please be patient till the next entry! It will be posted soon!

Yours,
Mr. Fabulous

Dear friends,

as your mentor I am very sorry I couldn't post another entry for quite some time. However, this is part of your process of becoming mature (please do not send me any more letters, emails or home made movies- it does not affect the frequency of my blog entries).

Vietnamese censorship prevented me from telling you the truth about my mission in the country. As I am back in my headquarter in the black forrest now there is no way the government can trace me so I can tell you what truly happened in Vietnam:

Everything began several years ago at my meeting with Fidel Castro, the leader of Cuba (pls see picture below). As you remember I visited him in Cuba and we smoked some cigars (in fact Fidel didn't recognize I had replaced my real cigar with one made of chocolate as I do not smoke; my years at acting school finally payed off) .As you may have recognized, Fidel is not seen on TV very often these days. The reason is that he became my commander-in-chief, so he was the one responsible for sending me to Vietnam. What were the reasons behind this? Please allow me to explain:

Vietnam, such as Cuba, is a communistic country. Fidel therefore sympathizes strongly with Vietnamese people but was very concerned about certain Vietnamese issues. My mission therefore was as follows:
"Dear milord Mr.Fabulous. I feel deeply moved and honoured that you agreed the assignment of this mission. Your task is to identify and eliminate all Vietnamese weaknesses so the country can become a powerful nation. Humbly yours, commander-in-chief.
P.S.: Please accept these cuban bananas as a sign of my esteem."

Even though the bananas didn't come up to my expectations I decided to start my research...

Hej,

Living in Ho Chi Minh City is great. However, I am aware of the fact that I have readers from different cultures. Therefore I am trying to explain HCMC's advantages from different perspectives.

American Perspective:
Vietnam is awesome, the best country ever! It’s definitely a must see and people are extremely friendly. There are amazing pubs and just a few kilometers away you can shoot with real ammunition for only one buck a shot. You can take pictures of yourselves standing on a tank and pretend to save some country (just like Iraq in Southafrica). They have plenty of fast food restaurants, too, and in pubs you get free refill (even though it is just iced tea).

German Perspective:
Vietnam isn’t bad. It is much safer than expected and the medical coverage of Ho Chi Minh City is ok, not as good as in Germany though. You can buy fake products here and some of the brand names are spelled incorrect. That is very funny. You can save money as people in restaurants usually do not expect any tip. If you are on a street market and bargain very hard you can save almost 10% of the price.

French Perspective:
Vietnam es super. The Vietnamese cuisine is excellent, eh. You can eat a lot of seafood and even frog, eh. Just like at home! Some old Vietnamese can still speak French, which is superb, eh. There is even more we have in common. If they try to speak English its a big effort to get the meaning of what they are trying to say, eh. We also share our history, eh. During almost 100 years our ancestors protected the Vietnamese from their own shortcommings such as excessive superstitions and brought them our superior culture by occupying the country, eh. Vive la France!

British Perspective:
Vietnam is sexy. No more comment!

Japanese Perspective:
Eto...Vietnam is cool. They even have electricity here and hundreds of motorbikes from Honda. Next to Ho Chi Minh City there is a place you can take pictures of yourself wearing a Vietcong uniform. Oh. Sorry, sorry. Is it insulting? Sorry! Arigato.

Mexican Perspective:
Vietnam is great. It is very safe and you can cross the border to Cambodia and Laos easily. You can get beers for less than a dollar. Although the Vietnamese hats are not as big as ours, they are funny too.

Easter European Perspective:
Vietnam is very advanced. The country is rich of natural ressources and the illiteracy rate is extremely low! We like going there because the people consider us as wealthy and educated (not like in Germany e.g.). Unfortunately, there is not bus or train to Vietnam.

Did I miss any perspective? Pls let me know...
See ya,
Mr.Fabulous

By the way! I proudly announce that this blog now had more than 3.000 visitors!
Thank you very much for participating and for your interest in my life and mind.

Hi,

it's time to let you know a bit more about my life in Vietnam as a super undercover top secret agent. The Picture below shows my headquarter, located at a "secret" place in the center of Ho Chi Minh City.
At the top I am able to overlook whole Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos, Siberia and Switzerland. Usually people would think the headquarter is equipped with state-of-the-art technology....However, in Vietnam labour force is very cheap. Therefore I have employed several co-workers to carry out the necessary tasks (see picture below):
Utmost secrecy must be preserved, therefore the staff has codenames, which are listed below:

Ms. President Bush: Responsible for household issues such as bringing out the garbage.
Ms. World: Responsible for massage and preparation of daily tea ceremony.
Ms. YMCA: Responsible for temperature issues, such as turning on the Air Condition app. 20min before I come to the hq.
Ms. Apocalyptica: Responsible for Public Relations issues such as promoting my homepage.
Ms. Kumbaya: Responsible for telecommunication issues, such as picking up the phone.
Ms. W2K: Responsible for personal comfort issues such as changing the fragrance in the sauna frequently.
Ms. Head-Off: Responsible for security issues such as pulling out the plug of electric devices during lighning and thunder.
Ms. Kate Ryan: Responsible for administrative issues such as administration issues.
Ms. James Bond: Responsible for fan issues, such as responding Mr.Fabulous fan mail.
Ms. Crocodile: Responsible for entertainment, such as preparation of movie day.
Ms. Uncle: Responsible for no issues.
Ms. Poop: Responsible for other issues.

After introducing you to my staff, I also would like to tell you more about what happened the last week. As you remember (if not, please have a look at your notes), Ms. Va Nes Sa was persuaded to postpone her flight and come to Denmark by someone calling himself Mr.YMD. However, those of you who haven't had the time to read my blog before Wednesday will not be able to read the story. Unfortunately, I got complaints by very important people. They didn't allow me to post the story here, as it will be published in a famous celebrity magazine soon. I'm very sorry for that! I had to delete this content!

The only thing I am able to tell you is that Ms.Va Nes Sa finally managed to come to Ho Chi Minh City, too.

Next entry soon! Take care,
Mr. Fabulous

Hej folks,

It’s me again. Super undercover secret agent Mr.Fabulous directly reporting from Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. For your convenience this is what happened so far:

After getting a message from my commander-in-chief that my help was needed, I had to pack my secret agent stuff and move to Vietnam. For entertainment and pleasure, Ms. Va Nes Sa was supposed to join me. However, two days before our flight something strange happened: Ms.Va Nes Sa also got a message from someone calling himself Mr.YMD, a name we had never heard before. He was asking Ms. Va Nes Sa to come to Denmark immediately. Mainly due to her naivism, Ms. Va Ne Sa followed the request and postponed her flight.

Not a big problem as Mr.Fabulous often operates alone…

I am sure you would like to know how living in Ho Chi Minh City is like. Actually, it is very cheap. Consider this:

Due to the heavy traffic here it is said that inhaling motorbike and car exhaust emissions equals about smoking 20 cigarettes each day. 20 cigarettes would cost about 5 Euro in e.g. Germany. As I am staying in HCMC for about 100 days, this would mean I had to smoke 2000 cigarettes costing me 400 Euro! Hence, I am able to save this amount without any effort! As I do not even smoke cigarettes I am not only saving, but in fact earning 400 Euro. Great success!

I didn't get another message from my commander-in-chief so far but I am sure I'll get one soon. I'll post another message, then...

See you soon,

Mr.Fabulous

Hej guys,

finally, I am able to provide you with more detailed information concerning my next top secret mission. Several months ago I got a message from my commander-in-chief on my toilet paper saying:

“Dear milord Mr.Fabulous. It is a great honour to meet you under such circumstances even though just on a piece of toilet paper. We need your help! The matter is absolutely urgent. The location is Vietnam. Please proceed to the next piece of paper…!”

Obviously, I was not very surprised to find the message (please note that Mr.Fabulous is never taken by surprise). After taking a short break to chill-out I continued reading the message.

“It is too unsafe to provide you with all information at this point of time. However, it is inescapable for you to move to Vietnam. There you will get more information. For your entertainment and pleasure Ms.Va Nes Sa is going to join you on this dangerous mission. Humbly yours, Commander-in-Chief”.

Cries for help in the manner described are no rarity for me. I knew what to do and began my usual super undercover top secret agent workout…

Now, I am finally ready to take up the challenge. On Sunday, my flight to Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam is leaving. Here is what I take with me:

1. My spy camera. The pictures are processed and sent to my commander-in-chief by email, even before I have pushed the trigger. Also, it allows me to see through walls and even water.

2. My Vietnamese hat. It is of paramount importance so I am not detected as not being Asian (this would mean immediate execution).

3. My teddy bear. If I get kidnapped, I pretend to be a litte boy, cuddling my bear and hoping the kidnappers sympathize with me.

4. My special USB-Device. It is used to copy intelligence from computers. Besides, it is also an inflatable boat.

5. My mask. I use this mask to be absolutely anonymous when strolling around. Also, it makes me invisible.

6. My tripod. This device can be extracted to app. 5 meters, so I am able to climb walls and other barriers.

7. My laser sword. It is used if I am confronted with 10 or more enemies, trying to do me harm (I don’t use it if I am confronted with less than 10 as I want to save battery).

8. My multi-functional knife. As I usually forget to put it out of my hand luggage before my flight, it is of no special use to me in Vietnam.

9. My Vietnam Bible. I use it in situations which I don’t know how to handle (not many indeed).

10. My passport. Fake of course, as Mr.Fabulous not really has a country of origin.

11. My money. Five dollars should be enough. If I need more, I earn it by headhunting.

12. My secret secret. This device is absolutely secret. Even mentioning it is forbidden.

As you see I am well prepared for my mission in Vietnam. I will keep you informed about the mission. Next entry will be posted from Vietnam soon. Meanwhile check out my new movies in the india and vietnam gallery section and subscribe to my newsletter (www.mrfabulous.de).

Mr.Fabulous

Long time no see!

I had several things to do, inluding the creation of my very personal homepage:

www.MrFabulous.de

Check it out!



This blog will be continued as soon as I am working on my new top secret project!

See ya,
Mr. Fabulous

Oh my god,

I am back in Germany since about two weeks. My final semester has started and there is already much to do. However, I am currently working on a new project, my own homepage!

There you will see some pictures I have taken and some other stuff. Any suggestion so far? Please tell me...

I will let you know the adress as soon as the homepage is finished (app. 2-3 weeks).

Cu
Fabian