Saturday, March 11, 2006

Hej folks,

Although many people didn't expect it, I made it back to Växjö from my very dangerous journey to Scotland. I know that many newspapers have written about my trip, but here is the whole truth:

Just minutes after I got the letter from the Stockholm Police Department, I took the most essential things and began my journey. As some of you might not have served as a secret agent so far, I should explain some things which are of paramount importance when being on a mission:

  • Never tell any personal details about yourself, even if a hot woman asks you (this happens more often than you might think...). This includes your name, birthdate, gender and favourite food and colour.
  • Always shoot into a room before entering, just in case there is someone who wants to harm you.
  • Be as naturally as possible, e.g. if you are on a mission in France always carry a baguette and behave feminin/gay, in Mexico always wear a weapon and mexican hat and sing all the time, in Germany carry a beer and wear Lederhosen and don't smile and in Sweden you should wear H&M clothes and don't talk to anyone unless you pretend to be drunk...
However, this is theory. On a mission you will sometimes face situations in which you can't stick to these rules. Whatever, let's move on with my story.

After packing my things I immediately caught the plane to Glasgow and then the train to Edinburgh, the Capital of Scotland.A friend of mine picked me up at the centralstation (he was also a secret agent once, but he wasn't good enough because he couldn't handle the job mentally...).

The Stockholm Police Department had got the information that a secret handing over of drugs would take place in the center of Edinburgh. I was supposed to take pictures to put these bastards on trial. And there the first person appeared. From the look of its face I could see that the "duck" had something illegal in mind... Like always, I was right. Just a couple of minutes later Santa Clause and a reindeer appeared. The gathering was complete. The handing over took place. The Santa Clause and Reindeer were only the middlemen. They passed over the drugs to a Sunflower which began selling them to the main druglords of Edinburgh...





After seeing so many people buying drugs I also became hungry and decided to go to a Kebab House. It was already dark outside. I entered the shop. The weired looking turkish guy said: "Merhaba abi. Bir tane Döner istiyormusunuz?" In perfect Turkish I responded "Evet." After a certain amount of time I got my Kebab, but something seemed strange. From my experiences in Turkey I knew that no Turkish man would ever forget to offer a tea. I reacted immediately, threw the Kebab on the ground and ran out of the shop. What I expected happened. The "turkish" guy had placed a bomb in my kebab, which exploded just after I jumped out of the danger zone.

However, I still was in immense danger since the evil guys had noticed that I survived their trap. I ran as fast as I could but one guy chased me, probably having in mind to kill me. After a while I became bored running away, so I decided to stop and beat up the evil guy. His teeth were flying in every direction like a firework, when I punshed in his face. Covered with blood he told me that he actually didn't want to harm me. We went to the Pub and got drunk. My first part of the mission was a complete success...

See you soon,
Fabian

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahahahaha...
maybe you should proud of yourself all the time because of your intelligence that never be trapped by those bad guy...baxia!

7:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you know that...i have bad mood these days.
i wanna recover myself before i go back.sorry i always mention i wanna go back to China.but i think you are one of the important reason that i will miss life in Sweden...
By the way.....i know u don't like the sentence'i wanna lose weight"..but..but.i wanna lose weight!!!!!!!!!!!!really!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7:24 PM  

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